10. You Give Zero Fucks
Before I ever experienced my first migraine I had a lot of different priorities. I worried about the same things many other 12-year-old girls cared about. Will the cool girls invite me into their clique? Does my crush think I’m cute? Can I talk my mom into buying me the newest Juicy Couture sweatsuit? What are the Spice Girls doing right now? Will my chest always be flat? While my love for the Spice Girls has not wavered — I am currently coveting the Victoria Beckham collection and am seriously concerned for the well-being of Mel B. — I can guarantee you post-migraine condition my priorities have shifted in a major way. I no longer care what people think of me. I try to take advantage of the few good days I get by living my best life the only way I know how and the only person that can define what that is, is me.
9. You Wear Sunglasses Indoors & You Are Not Anna Wintour
Anna Wintour is a badass. She rocks sunglasses whether she is inside or outside and she rocks them like the boss lady she is. Some people may find it offensive when they see regular people wearing sunglasses indoors. They assume anyone who’s wearing them must think they are just too cool. Some people might be right. But light sensitivity is one of the most common side effects of migraine. When I’m having a migraine attack, the smallest sliver of light can feel like I’m camped out on the sun. A dark room may even feel too bright. The brightness levels on my phone and iPad screens are always set on the lowest possible setting and that’s not even enough to lessen the feeling that a tiny person is taking an ice pick and chipping away at my eyeball when I look at it. So next time you see someone wearing their sunglasses indoors, they may not just be making a fashion statement.
8. The Font On Your Phone Is The Same Size As Your Great-Grandmother’s
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been asked about the font on my phone. I have 20/20 vision and yet the type-face on my screen makes it look like I am legally blind. I set up my phone this way on purpose. To avoid eye strain, and for the nosy people on the subway who would have trouble reading my texts over my shoulder otherwise… you’re welcome.
7. You Are A Walking WebMD
It was a while after I started getting migraines before I was officially diagnosed with chronic migraine disorder. When I first started experiencing excruciating head pain I wasn’t sure what was going on and I visited a number of different doctors and had lots of tests and scans done. It was scary. There was a lot of trial and error as I was prescribed different medications, and doctors used lots of terms I didn’t understand. I quickly learned the importance of research. Now before I take any medication I look it up and research the side effects, I read reviews and I make sure I know what I’m putting in my body. Before I see a doctor I look them up, I read reviews and I make sure I know who I’m entrusting with my care. When a doctor mentions a possible diagnosis I look it up, I familiarize myself with it and I learn what it means. I get second, sometimes third opinions. I receive newsletters from foundations and organizations that keep me up to date on the latest news and discoveries in migraine research so that I’m informed and can ask about certain treatments and findings with my doctors. No one is going to care more about your health and wellness other than you so it’s important to be proactive and stay informed when it comes to your health care.
6. Your Primary Physician Is Your Neurologist
I literally put down my neurologist as my primary care doctor when I fill out forms. What, like that’s weird?
5. You Have A Small Inner Circle
When your schedule is filled with more doctor appointments than social outings, you learn quickly who your friends are. When I was in high school I missed a lot of days because of my migraines and my once always-smiling, hyper self was replaced by a moodier, quieter, resting bitch face. I couldn’t wait to escape those halls and I almost didn’t because of the amount of days I had to miss. I had to bail on a lot of plans, but that’s okay because it taught me who my real friends were. I still have to cancel plans occasionally but because of the group I have surrounded myself with the only sense of guilt I ever feel is mainly my own. I know I’m not easy to be around or deal with when I am having an attack (or even on the days leading up to one or afterwards), but that is something I am constantly striving to improve upon. I’ve been through a lot more in my short lifetime than anyone should have to deal with and because of that sometimes I’m more reserved and slow to open up to new people, because those who don’t understand can be judgmental and honestly I don’t have time for that.
4. You Fake It Til You Make It
When your months are filled with more pain days than good days, you learn to cope and power through. I think I’m pretty good at faking it. Sometimes too good. After you realize how much you hurt the people around you when you can’t say the right thing, or when its time to adult and you can’t miss a day of work, you learn to compartmentalize and put on the act that you are well. The fact that this disease is an invisible one can sometimes lead to the stigma that you actually are faking the illness and not the fact that you are well. But make no mistake, its the wellness that’s being faked. The second that I’m able to I’m collapsing onto my bed, and shutting out the world until the next time I need to come out of my shell.
3. You Are A Professional Napper
If there was an Olympic sport in napping I would probably take home the gold. I have always struggled with some form of insomnia and I also have restless leg syndrome so it always takes me a really long time to fall asleep. Once when I was spending the weekend with friends, I got the nickname ‘Flounder’ because of the way I was flopping around in the bed unable to get comfortable. Lately, 5-10 mg of melatonin has been helping me before bed. Most of the time though, I am still exhausted when I wake up and I never feel fully rested. All of my medications list “fatigue” as a side effect. Napping is a great way to fight fatigue. In my opinion, a nap is always a good idea.
2. You Run a Portable Pharmacy
I have learned the hard way to never be caught without medication on hand. In order to out-smart myself, I have strategically placed triptans and acetaminophen in every purse, bag, pouch, wallet, etc. that I own so that I never get stuck in a situation where I am without medication when a migraine strikes.
1. You Are A Warrior
I have been through hell and back but I’m still here. I’m fighting everyday against an invisible, misunderstood, debilitating disease along with 2-3 million others in the U.S. alone. Though I have to admit it has crossed my mind, giving up is not an option. Knowing you are not alone helps. Anyone who suffers from chronic pain is a fellow warrior and deserves credit for continuing to fight everyday.