Tomorrow is a big day for me. It is the day I have been waiting for. It has the day I have been working towards for over a year. Tomorrow marks the end of a campaign I started over a year ago, a campaign of epic proportions. Why then am I scared out of my mind?
Botox for migraine is currently the only medication for chronic migraine that has been approved by the FDA that is strictly for migraines. Sure there are the pills I take nightly but those aren’t actually designated migraine medications. One is used primarily to treat epilepsy, another to treat depression and another to treat high blood pressure. Sounds like quite the cocktail, right? Especially considering I don’t have any of those conditions. But I take them because as a side note they also have been found to maybe prevent migraines so I overlook all the other stuff in favor of a glimmer of hope that I may find some relief in them.
But with Botox for migraine comes an exciting new opportunity — the possibility of lessening the amount of medications I take and getting some real results. Finally I have something to thank my guilty pleasure, the Real Housewives, for other than just allowing me to escape my own reality every once and a while. Because believe it or not it was women who were getting Botox for cosmetic reasons who first discovered their added benefit. They realized that as a bonus to a wrinkle-free existence, they were no longer getting headaches. So then doctors did more research and found that Botox actually did treat migraines and the manufacturer began their pursuit of FDA approval and reimbursement for medical use.
After talking to my neurologist and deciding that I would be a good candidate for the treatment, he had one of his employees go ahead with trying to get approval from insurance. Now I know working with insurance is never an easy process. Trust me, when you have as many medical issues as I have over the course of my life you get familiar with it, but my doctor has an employee that’s entire job is dedicated to getting approval for and scheduling Botox appointments for his patients. An entire staff just for Botox approval! Maybe that should have been my first red flag. But never in my wildest dreams did I think it would take over a year to make this appointment happen. Honestly, I thought my medical history would speak for itself and maybe it would take a couple months tops. But with the hoops I’ve had to jump through and the phone calls I’ve had to make over this past year, it’s surreal that this day has actually become a reality. And now that it’s here I’m freaking out.
I mean… 31-35 injections in my forehead, scalp, head, neck and shoulders? Why was I fighting so hard for this again??
It’s actually not so much about the pain of the injections. That I think I can handle. I mean I live with chronic pain everyday. I have a pretty high tolerance as it is. It’s more so the reaction I may or may not have afterwards. The unknown. And what if it doesn’t work?
And of course there’s the fear of changing my appearance. I mean I know the only visible part the injections go in is my forehead. And many will say what a great side effect — a wrinkle-free forehead! But while I love watching the Real Housewives, I really don’t want to end up looking like them before I hit 30. And while, yes, my worries may seem irrational they are mine and mine alone. And because without them I would not be human.
I have to just keep reminding myself it’ll be worth it in the end… Probably. If it works. But I won’t know for at least 9 months as it usually takes 3-4 treatments to really tell so until then I just have to keep a positive attitude and low expectations. One day at a time. And tomorrow is a big day.