There’s no Guilt in Migraine

This past weekend I was unable to do more than half the things I planned on doing. I had to rearrange my schedule based on the migraines I ended up having. But when I look back on my weekend, I’ll tell everyone that it was a great. Because you know what? All things considered, it was.

I don’t really see the point in harping on the negative and rehashing all of the bad things that have happened in the past. I think one of the reasons there is a link between depression and headache is because of all the guilt and after-effects that come as a result of the condition. To be diagnosed with chronic daily migraines you must have 15 or more migraines a month. The number is baffling. Most of the time I can’t tell if it’s one big migraine or several reoccurring migraines. And really, does it matter?

Reliving it all is just wasting precious time and energy you could be using to do something more positive.  If I am able to focus on the things I was able to get done and the plans I was able to make, they all add up to a pretty great time.

In the past two weeks I had to cancel plans multiple times. Every time feels like another dagger to the heart of my friendship. I can just feel the other person rolling their eyes, like yeah sure you have another headache.

It’s the same feeling I get when I have to call out sick from work. I don’t know if my boss ever really believes that I have a migraine, or if he just thinks I’m playing hooky. Believe me, I would much rather use up my personal days playing hooky. Instead, I am holed up in my room, making it as dark and as quiet as humanly possible, feeling as if a ton of bricks is piled on top of my head, and trying with every ounce of my being to get just a couple of minutes of rest.

I feel so guilty for the plans that I miss out on and the days I have to spend feeling sorry for myself in dark and quiet spaces, that anything a family member, friend, or co-worker has thought about me is probably not even close to what I have already thought myself. But the more time you spend worrying and stressing about all the time missed the worse your migraines will get and the more strained your relationships will be.

I am a true believer in positive thinking, I have my mom to thank for that. I think she sprinkled positive thoughts into our Wheaties when we were little. So no matter how bad the migraines get, tomorrow is another day. You can always reschedule. And if your friend isn’t buying it then they probably weren’t that great of a friend to begin with. 🙂

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